Sometimes hardship means...

...cooking dinner whilst enduring the nostril-raping odor of your dad's nearby feet. It smells like week-old salami left out in an Egyptian sewer. He hath devised a two-pronged attack so that when you first step through the front door, you pass directly over his abandoned shoes. Synthetic, non-breathing shoes + no socks = unprecedented & unnatural chemical compositions. Then, before you realize you should not be breathing anymore (coma imminent!), you must walk by the other half of the team: his actual bare feet, left out to air in the closed-window environs of the living room.

It is insidious. I am three rooms away, and I can still memory-smell it, like it has left airborne molecules in my nose.

And now I must go make tri-tip steak and baked potatoes, armed only with minced garlic and one lone Mackintosh Apple scented Yankee Candle. I shall put the candle at the edge of the counter closest to the living room, to ward off as much as I can...

Blue stuff

A few weeks ago I checked out The Apron Book from the library, and that's when my mom and I went a little crazy. Okay, my mom went a little crazy. I just made this one apron as a Christmas present for my mother-in-law (and gave her a copy of the book as well). My mom whipped up like 7 aprons from various patterns as Christmas gifts, two of which she sent off to Ireland for a couple of our distant cousins. My mom! Seriously, she rocks. Anyway, what a find the book was. It is a collection of stories, vintage aprons (and their stories), and even a couple apron patterns, all of which celebrate the art of homemaking and mothering. I read through this book in between child-rearing one evening, and at the end I felt high on life and proud of my choices. I also felt inspired to be better. I urge any fellow mom to check it out.

In the spirit of blue Christmas presents, I also managed to squeeze in this custom dress for my niece, Lily. Thank you so much to Shari, who created the AWESOME sew-in tags and hanging tag for me. I just ironed the sew-in image onto twill tape, and I'm pretty happy with the result. You can't really see it that well in these pics, sorry--my camera is so much classier than I am. :p~ Also, the dress is not bumpy, that's just the leggings underneath.

Violet-ness

Just when we are feeling too serious, Violet knows exactly what to say to lighten the mood. Here are a few of her recent gems:

---

Sam farts.
V: Daddy, do you have to go potty?

---

Standing while I wipe her after she goes number 2.
V: Mommy, you are doing such a good job wiping my bottom! I'm really proud of you!

---

V: Can I watch somethin'?
Me: Okay, what do you want to watch?
V: I wanna watch KPBS Kids!

---

Every day.
V: Can I do my Avalynt calendar, pleeease? (Avalyn + Advent= Her Trader Joe's chocolate "Avalynt" calendar.)

---

Me: No, no Baby Wright, get Violet's shoe out of your mouth, eew!
Wright continues to eat the shoe.
V: Baby Wright, that's 1! (As in 1-2-3 Magic.)

---

My favorite is when she messes up opposites and quantities...she always has worthy intentions, but they just come out wrong:

---

Flicking a stray Kix out of her carseat.
Me: Violet, honey, don't do that. You need to pick that up.
V: That was just a Kick, Mommy. I don't want a Kick in my carseat.
Me: Kix. We say Kix whether it's one Kix or lots of Kix.
V: No, that was a Kick. I have Kix in my cereal. Heheh, Mommy, you're silly! (Apparently my English degree means nothing to her.)

---

Sucking thumb and possibly whining.
V: Mommy, I want you to hold me for big minutes. (As opposed to "for a little bit" or "for a few minutes".)

---

Me: Violet, would you like some more milk?
Pushing her cup towards me.
V: Yeah, I'd like a bit much.

---

...

Life has been ridiculous around here lately. The holidays were/are a whirlwind of cleaning, shopping, making, cooking, etc., and it seems like neither my mom or I have been able to catch our breaths. Not to mention, Poophead I and Poophead II.

Ugh.

Seriously. My two evil children. Between the two of them, I have figured out that each day I actually fall further behind in my to do list. I don't quite understand how it happens over and over, but each day I basically run around getting snacks, holding Wright, taking potty, nursing Wright, calming tantrums, holding Wright, dressing Violet, finding something for Violet, more Wright duty...and so on. If I hoped to cross 3 things off my list, I actually only get to do 1, and so the next day it is 4, and I only get to 1 or even 0, compound that, blah, blah.

And then I think, I really want to have another baby to take up all my time and start this all over again???

No, I don't, I can't. This is seriously awful. Baby Wright, can you please go back to taking decent naps? How about getting through the early evening w/o waking up 1 billion times, huh? Cut me some slack, here.

All day long I dream about...reading...sewing...cooking...watching a show of my own...doing something without my kids. I look at single people with envy. They get to come home after work and have hours and hours to themselves. HOURS! They get to take baths. They go shopping alone with time to think, and not feel like they have to rush because their kids a) incredibly distracting and/or bad, or b) are inconveniencing someone else.

I don't think I'm cut out to have lots of children. I'm too selfish...

Okay, I just had to go put Wright back to sleep. Here is his schedule so far tonight:

8:45 Asleep
9:21 Awake
10:35 Awake
11:52 Awake (dude! He made it 1.5 hours! <---I actually thought this to myself)
1:00 Awake

And so on and so forth. He will go longer stretches once I'm in bed, but sheesh. Is it any wonder I'm so unproductive (for instance: this blog)? Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself for letting Violet watch so much Dora. I mean, I'm basically brain-dead, and, hey, it's educational!

I have so many other, less-whiny, blog posts in my head. Maybe when I get the chance--hah!--I will write them.

Santa Baby

This weekend Violet had her first visit with Santa. We didn't "take" her to go see Santa, it was just sort of the by-product of a local commercial plaza promotion. For some reason, they wanted you to come with your kid, decorate a Christmas stocking, and collect stocking stuffers from the stores in the plaza. All for free! You also got a picture with Santa in the bargain. I wish I could post a picture here, but a) they used Polaroids, and b) dumb me forgot my camera. For the record, he was a cute grandpa-y Santa who made a real effort to talk to each kid. Kudos to him for coming out in a Santa suit when it was, like, 1000 degrees out!

Here is how his conversation with Violet went:

Santa: Well hello! Violet, that's a pretty name! What would you like for Christmas?

Violet: A bicycle. (I coached her to say, "tricycle," but whatever)

Santa: Oh, a bicycle! How nice! Are you old enough to ride a bicycle with training wheels?

Violet: Yep. (Not remotely true.)

Santa: Wow, what a big girl! Is there anything else you can think of that you would like me to bring you for Christmas?

Violet: Thinking for a minute. A cheese-stick? (It was lunchtime)

Santa: ??? Oh, okay, a cheese-stick, that would be interesting! Well, maybe you could write me a letter telling me what you want for Christmas and put it in the mail. Do you think you could do that?

Violet: Nodding head. "R."

Fall things

This year we got pumpkins from the pumpkin patch, so I thought we'd do a "family" display. We decorated our pumpkins with foam stickers instead of the whole messy carving thing. It was actually fun! (I have low expectations for this sort of thing.) Violet really enjoyed using the princess-themed ones I got for her and didn't want to stop stick-ing. Of course, after she was done with hers and Wright's, she tried to overtake mine. :p~ Sam even got into the spirit and was creative with his Turban squash, so that was cool.

We were also planning to go to Julian with Sam's mom this past weekend, but that didn't really work out. Apparently, the U-pick apples were all gone, and then we had some scheduling issues. So, Violet's apples dress has yet to be worn. Here's what I've done to this child by making her wear specific outfits for every occasion:

Me: Violet, we're going to Disneyland tomorrow for your birthday! Won't that be exciting?!

Violet: NO! I don't WANT to go to Disneyland, I wanna go pick apples! (image embarassingly bratty tone)

Me: Huh? Violet, I'm really sorry, but all the apples are all gone, and we'll just have to go another time.

Violet: But mom, it matches my apples dress!

I have created a monster.

Eau de _____

For some reason living at my parents' house involves quite a bit of smell-mystery-solving. I'm not sure why this is...maybe it has something to do with it being a 30+ year old house where older folks AND small children reside. Or, my dad. Heheh. No seriously, as I have a somewhat sensitive nose, I generally can't rest until I've found and eradicated the source. Otherwise. I. Die. Here's a few recent cases:

Q: What is that god-awful pee-filled-diaper-that's-been-sitting-in-a-hot-car-for-a-week stank in the hall bathroom? Is it a diaper someone stashed in the wall? Is it faulty plumbing? Is it my dad?
A: Nada, it's a cretin-brained opossum who decided to amble into the basement and die directly underneath the bathroom. Eeew! This odor was so pervasive, it remained for weeks after my dad and Sam removed the bastard and buried him. Apparently some hair fell off his carcass when they picked him up, and long after it was gone we had to endure a game-y wet animal odor every time we ran the shower. Deees-gusting.

Setting: playing with Violet on the living room floor
Q: Why does it smell like nasty feet? Did Violet fart?
A: It's my dad's feet.

Setting: playing with Violet in her playroom on the porch
Q: Dear God, can I smell my dad's feet all the way out here?
A: Nope, it's Violet's feet. She took off her $9.99 Target no-animals-were-killed-in-the-making-of-these shoes, thus releasing a waft ranker than a Parisian cheese shop.

Q: Why does Violet suck her thumb standing next to me and PINCH MY ARM!!
A: This is not a smell question, but it makes it dang hard TO TYPE!! *swat* *swat*

Q: Why does it smell poopy yet chemical-y outside? Did Sam just take an excrement-filled diaper out to the trash?
A: The neighbor's propane tank burst a pipe, filling the air with a difficult to identify sewage-ish/gas od-our. Side effect of harmful air was one heck of a headache for us all.

Q: Why does this mysteriously wet microphone on Violet's new keyboard reek like nap-breath?
A: When Violet sings into her microphone (Song of choice is "We Are Awana Cubbies"), she puts it in her mouth. I wonder if it's harmful for her to suck on a recently Clorox-wiped microphone?

Q: Do I smell popcorn? Did Sam make popcorn? Why does the baby smell like popcorn?
A: The baby pooped. Oddly, the resulting odor calls to mind butter, salt, and corn product.

Q: Why do I sense a homeless/unbathed personage in the near vicinity? Am I also detecting mildew? Is it my Dad? Did he funk up his chair so bad that it smells even when he's not there? Why do I also smell when the door to parents' room is open?
A: This one was a toughie. Source of the problem turned out to be *deep breath* for some reason the hot water was off on my mom's washing machine, and she couldn't turn the spigot, so she was washing everything on cold. Cold water does not kill bacteria and such, so all the bedding/towels/clothes were not getting cleaner AND causing all to get mildew-y-ish and yuck. So, I had Sam turn the spigot on and now everything has gotten clean and is now fresh and said odor has disappeared. Whew.

Q: This is not a smell question, but why the FRICK does Baby Wright (BW) kick the crap out of my stomach everytime we side nurse in bed? He is laying there basically trying to climb up AND push away, all the while attached at the boob. Did I mention this makes me feel violent at 3am?
A: I have no earthly idea. The insult is twofold; firstly, we have the stomach area which, if I thought was damaged after Violet (BW: Hah!), contains stomach muscles split in half 2 inches apart covered by skin stretched to heck (my OBGYN: The collagen will not recover!) thanks to the BEHEMOTH that is BW. I have accepted the first, but Secondly, we have the incessant kicking that goes on while BW tiltshis head back and tries to see if he can get my nipple to reach 9 inches. Gah! Urgh.

Sorry for whipping out the B and N words.

Undies!!!

Okay, I am so excited. I made my first undies this weekend. Violet needed new underwear as we are stepping up the potty-thing (i.e. forcing it because she's stubborn as mud), and I didn't feel like going to Target and paying the for themwhen I could make them for free. It seems like such a silly thing, but for some reason I am more proud of these than most things I make! It feels good to sew something so practical and useful, and I did it all with scraps I had on hand. (click on picture for full-size undies fantastic-ness)



While I'm at it, here's the Cinderella dress I made for her birthday/Halloween. We are going to Disneyland to celebrate her 3rd birthday next week, so this is what she will wear. I also bought a crown and wand from the Disney Store, but I'm waiting to give those to her until the morning of. I will post afterwards with her full regalia, but meanwhile she's been rocking this dress non-stop!





Those on Facebook have already seen this one, but I thought I'd post it anyway. It's a kitties Halloween skirt I made for our trip to the pumpkin patch last weekend. The thing is beyond poufy when she's not leaning against a random person's truck.



You may be wondering how I got all this sewing done when my kids are so bad. The answer is: 10 minutes at a time. Also, for some reason they're way better about playing in the enclosed porch while I sew than playing by themselves while I run and clean the bathroom or whatever.

Red eyes. Foggy brain.

I have so many things to say, and yet I don't write. Sometimes it's just too hard to put my thoughts into words, and then my words into letters and sentences in the--literally--five minutes at a time that my kids are giving me these days.

Ugh, the kids. Seriously.

Wright: Wakes up every hour. Takes minimal naps. Makes a screaming noise if you're not holding him. Grabs at everything you're doing and puts your back out if you are holding him.

Violet: Wants me to hold her. Play with her. Gets up for an hour after I put her down for her nap/to sleep at night. Water. Song. Books. Potty. Ugh. Has sibling jealousy.

Update on the small group situation: it's going well! We decided to leave Violet with my mom every week, which has helped me enormously. Wright is doing super well sitting on my lap, and I'm enjoying getting to know different people with various ages and backgrounds. Sometimes I get so pissy and tired that I look at everything through negative glasses, and I think this was one of those cases.

Sam's mom is coming to visit this next week, and we are going up to Julian with her to pick apples. I have--OF COURSE--taken it upon myself to make Violet a special trip-to-Julian-with-Grammy apples dress. Why do I do this to myself? I am a crazy craft person with no time. Need. Crafts. To. Breathe. Anyway, if this goes well we might add it to our Fall traditions.

I can't think of anything else to write about. Question: Is extreme lack of sleep anything like being impaired by drugs? I am seriously concerned about my driving.

It's my birthday, yay.

Here I am at 12:30am typing because I couldn't sleep, ugh. It's a real travesty when every moment of shut-eye is sooo precious (due to Baby Butthead's mommy addiction), yet your body will not respond and TAKE ADVANTAGE. Hey body, this is going to suck tomorrow!! Body: screw you, let's think and worry ad nauseum instead!

I am not going to sugar coat this, I am not having a good day/night/early morning (whatever). We had our first "study" small group tonight, and Sam called me from work a couple of hours before to let me know that he would meet me there so he could work late.

??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sure honey! I'll just make a side dish and corral a high-energy toddler + non-sleeping, needs-constant-holding infant all by myself and still make it to group on time! Awesome! The only way I accomplished this was to have my mom watch Violet and Wright for pretty much 3 hours while I cooked, cleaned up, and got us all ready, etc. I really hate taking advantage of her like that. As grateful as I am, it makes me feel like I can't actually manage my own life.

Then we get there and...it's just hard to do a study with little kids. I've got to juggle papers and Wright on my lap, and half my attention is on Violet in the other room, even though she's being good--how is that fun? Hence why I was not sure it was a good idea for us right now. I'm doing it for Sam because he basically held a shotgun to my head and said I owed him one. I'm thinking at the end of this he owes me a coverstitch machine, hah!

I know I am such a complainer. In the grand scheme of things this is so inconsequential. I hate being so whiny (ugh, now I feel worse).

Anyway, I am 28 today. I get to spend my birthday watching the children while Sam goes to work on stuff at our old house so we can get ready to rent it. Yay.

OOh, I thought of something happy! The Office premier was tonight and there was such a GOOD Pam and Jim thing that went on (y'know, with a ring), and also they made out a bunch, and, yay, romance always cheers me up. Glad I thought of that.

On that note I'm going to try to go back to bed.

Twenty pound blondie on my lap

Ugh, I used to type with Violet on my lap pinching me, now I type with Wright in the Boppy. He is currently flailing around erratically, arching his back as if to stare at the wall--which as far as I can tell is completely blank, but hey, maybe kids really do see the supernatural--and, oh yay, dropping his paci in the dark so I have to get up and turn the light on to see it. Sigh, this one.

Kid, where's your dang paci??

Aha, I found it. Now, seriously, go to sleep, child.

Speaking of "dang," last week I handed Violet her sandwich bag of Cheerios while we were in the car and said, "here's your dang Cheerios." She responded, "no! I don't want my dang Cheerios!" I have taught my child to Christian-swear.

We have been busybusybusy packing up all of our copious cray-ap to a) move to my parents, b) move to our storage unit, or c) get rid of. This is just as complicated as it sounds, that is, provided it sounds complicated to you (you in a general sense). It is also disgustingly sweaty and filled with the sounds of screaming and/or crying and/or whining. Note to self: never move in the Summer, and if possible, avoid having a nursing baby and whiny toddler next time. I'm sure moving is never easy for anyone, but it would sure help me if I didn't have to pause every 5 minutes or so to hold the baby. Such is life, though.

I packed up my books today, which was only difficult mentally. I NEED my books, they are my friends!! As soon as I multiply 35 x 20, I will tell you how many books I had on that particular shelf. Hmm. Okay, only 700! I did save one box to go to my parents, so if you currently utilize my library, it has since shrunk to about 50-ish. A best-of collection, if you will. I am consoling myself with the knowledge that plenty of books come out in the next year while we are there, and I always have the library. I will have plenty of reading material.

I got a little taste of things to come when we went over to drop a bunch of stuff off at my parents this afternoon. I step inside, and it REEKS. I immediately complain loudly and start looking for the source of the smell, while Sam, who had already been inside a couple times whispers in my ear, "I just thought it was maybe your dad." ????????? Seriously, people, this was like dirty-diaper-sitting-in-a-hot-car-all-day nasty, not I-have-smelly-genes off-gassing. We ransacked the house looking for the culprit, and all we could isolate was the hall bathroom toilet/shower-ish area, so we are hoping it's not a faulty plumbing issue. We will figure it out though, and I told Sam that if something bothers him there, he needs to either TELL ME or try to fix it himself. We are not gonna last 6-12 months there if we are just constantly sucking everything up, sheesh.

In slightly more yay news, I am off to watch Gossip Girl right now; so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Internationality

I don't know about ya'll, but I don't think I've had this much fun watching an Olympics since I was a kid. Amazingly, every event I've watched has been exciting and interesting: gymnastics, swimming, diving, beach volleyball, & track & field. I wish I could have had the time/energy to watch some more of the day events, especially since I've been home, but unfortunately it just never really happened. Many mornings I've spent fending Violet off ("I don't wanna watch dis.") while I caught up on the coverage from the previous night, and between running around and watching 2 kids, it was all I could do to keep up with the prime time stuff. Regardless, it's been fun and poignant in so many ways, and I know that these Beijing games will stick in my memory for a long time. With the closing ceremonies tonight, here's some random thoughts of some of my/Sam's thoughts over the past two weeks:

Russian Athletes
Sam: "Russia. An entire country where everyone's last name ends in `ov'."

Beach Volleyball
I think I'm a little in love with Kerri Walsh. She's so...beautiful. And tall. Can I look like that in a bikini, please? And she has the cutest, warm personality. I love how she referred to Misty May-Traener as, "this girl right here," in an interview. Adore her!

Bela Karolyi
He's been in the USA for close to 30 years now, but he dresses and talks like he came straight off the Soviet bloc yesterday (huh?! Wha'd he say???). Whatever his coaching practices--and I'm sure I wouldn't agree with them--I've enjoyed his enthusiasm and bluntness.

Bob Costas
I have always stood up for Bob, but now I think he might be kind of a d-bag. No matter what your politics, it's just plain rude to spend an entire interview trying to get the President of the United States to insult the host country! Okay, Bob, seriously??!

Swimming
Once again, thank you for existing, male swimmers. Also, your swimsuits are borderline indecent. Okay, they are indecent....YAY!!!

Diving
Our divers. Just. Can't. Get there. Argh. Why can't they just hit all their dives? How come the Chinese don't seem to get enough points taken off for when they do screw up? Ditto on this one for gymnastics!

On another note, am I just overly sensitive, or could anyone else just not shake the homoerotic vibe on the men's synchro diving? The only guys who pulled it off hetero were the Russians, 'cause they just looked so bada$$ no matter what. No way around it, men's synchro diving is just not a straight sport.

Gymnastics
I looked on Jonathon Horton's Wikipedia page, and the dude is freaking 5'1"!! Naomi and I were joking that he's so cute we just want to, to, put'iminourpocket! Well, we actually can.

Tim Dagget seriously needed to stop talking up the Chinese sports system as if it were this wonderful thing, and not institutionalized, well, abuse. Hey, let's take kids away from their families starting at 3 years old and train them full time! Let's screw their heads and bodies up for life! It's all worth it for gold medals to honor the country of China! Blegh. He kept saying that Cheung Fei's parents put her in gymnastics because they hoped for a better life for her, which financially and opportunity-wise I guess she got. But at what cost? She's lived away from her family since she was 7? In an interview with her parents, they said she responds in monosyllabic answers to their questions when they do talk on the phone. She's stoic--gee, I wonder why. I guess as a parent I'm being completely judgemental here, but I just find this appalling.

The Opening/Closing Ceremonies & Venues
Yes, they were amazing, but using up that much money and resources in a country where the average rural citizen lives on $2 a day just made me a little sick. It's monstrously decedant, and the U.S. would never get away with that. Nevertheless, I did very much enjoy the beauty of the ceremonies and the buildings they built, and I'm sure these images will be enduring even after many other Olympics have taken place.

Okay, this post came off a little negative...honest, I really enjoyed the Olympics! I loved seeing us win medals in all the events and all the human interest stories they throw in for us women! (Good job, NBC.) The good and the bad just made it all the more interesting experience.

Here's to more fun (and possibly restraint) in London come 2012!

I'm still in there

This past weekend I got to spend some time over at Naomi's watching home movies with her friend Brenon, an actor, which was awesome for several reasons. We watched some of the silly and creative videos we made with our siblings and cousin when we were younger, and he showed us some of the things he'd acted in and also a few things he made with his siblings. I had a blast watching everything and laughing, and Naomi made really yummy pizza. I left Vi with my mom, and brought Wright with me, so he got to have fun, too. (Where was Sam? In nerd heaven working on his amplifier, of course.)

I really enjoy when I get to do things like this with Noms because I get to hang out with... NON-MARRIED people--or should I say NON-PARENTS. It is so nice to talk to these people. They live in a different world than me and have all sorts of interesting things to say, and I love to hear them. I feel like I get to be me and not just a role--as much as I love my "roles" sometimes I really need a break from all the married/mommy talk!

It's an interesting thing about being a SAHM, because I don't really get to talk to guys very much (hello I'm a Muslim woman!). I mean, don't get me wrong, I really need and love the girl-talk (I honestly would die without it because Sam is suuuch a guy), but it seems like once you're married, the group setting tends to split up into to girls and guys ALL of the time. Sometimes I feel quite the estrogen overload. Let's face it, guys can be so much funnier and laid back than most girls. They also tend to talk about a wider variety of subjects. We girls have the weight of our families on our minds so much that we get too serious and, ugh, dramatic.

I'm not quite sure what the protocol is for mixing up the guys & girls more and/or talking with other peoples' husbands. I always feel like there is a time limit, like, "oop, it's been five minutes, better move on to a girl convo over there..." For the record, anyone is welcome to talk to my husband for any length of time, just ask him about amplifiers, heheh.

Back to my original thought; this is why I love hanging out with my single sis and her single guy and girl friends. I don't have to spin around in my head worrying about any of this crap, I can just relax and enjoy discovering different headspaces...

I waste time

I often say, "I was going to do X, but I didn't have time because (insert excuse)..." The thing is, I really do not have blocks of time--because my children constantly interrupt me--but if I'm completely honest, I DO have SOME time with which I might accomplish, oh, anything. But I don't. I usually just putter around waiting for the next interruption.

Right now it doesn't help that I'm exhausted because my 2nd child, like the 1st, does not sleep due to massive quantities of early teeth coming in. Seriously, five teeth by 6 months? Seriously??? Ugh.

Here are things I should do with my time "pockets:"

- Clean any portion of my house
- Do more laundry, more often
- Come up with a constructive activity for Violet and do it
- Write back to peoples' emails that I have received
- Sew clothing for my family
- Blog

Here is what I actually do:

- Stare off into space catatonically
- Daydream about things I should be doing
- Read magazines (perfect for time pockets due to content length!)
- Read internet gossip, blogs, and Wikipedia entries
- Drool over online shoes, fabric, Old Navy, etc.,
- Talk on the phone

I am convinced that I am going to spend 50% of my life in my head! Sigh.

Up late

It's very late, and the kids are all in bed. The husband, too.

For some reason I am still up. I had to go "re-put" Wright to bed about two hours ago. I felt so exhausted laying there while I nursed him that I felt like I didn't even have the energy to go downstairs and turn off my sewing stuff (machines, iron, and not to mention put away any sharp objects). Nothing like going to and laying in the dark to kill your hobby mojo. I did come back down though, and then proceeded to sit on the couch and mindlessly watch sports highlights on mute with my mouth slightly ajar.

Sam came in and talked to me, but he went to bed, and I wanted to read this interview with Chris Nolan (director of Batman Begins, and The Dark Knight), so I went in here to read it. Then I checked my email. Then I got started drooling over sewing blogs. Instead of actually sewing clothes for my kids, I sit here envying what others seem to accomplish effortlessly. Meanwhile I'm so sleep deprived and sick as this moment that I think I'd sew my finger if I tried. Certainly I'd screw something up. Maybe one day a) my kids will sleep, and b) I will have time & be awake to sew in more than 10 minute increments.

This is my life right now: today I laid on my bed, nursing my cranky, flailing 5 month-old while Violet sucked her thumb behind me. I was desperately trying to keep the baby still with my knee on his hip, one hand holding both his wrists, and the other his head, because if I let go at all he would fly off and get mad, even though he would be the cause! Meanwhile I had to contend first with Violet's feet, then her hands fidgeting with my camisole straps--oh please stop. My bra-pads were soaked. My shirt smelled like breast milk. My bed like spit-up. I hadn't taken a shower yet--hah!--or gotten ready for the day at all even though it must have been after 11am. Snap-shot of my mommy-of-small-children days...

Why am I running backwards?

You may have noticed from my previous post that I sometimes feel that, for no apparent reason, my life is somehow hard to get done. I like to blame this on the fact that I have kids. However, I have noticed that other people who have kids seem to be able to keep their houses clean, have a hobbies, work on the side, etc. Why not me???

See, I have this theory that my kids are super high-maintenance. For instance, Violet. (Need I say more?) Also, my house is boring. And small. And we have no yard. Seriously, if I had a yard, I would totally send Violet out there ALL the time and just watch her from my kitchen window/custom sewing room (natch).

We just got back from spending several days in Ohio visiting friends from college. The place we stayed at had tons & tons of room to run around, a gazillion toys, and not to mention a humongous, grassy yard with a slide, tricycles, etc. I'm not kidding, the yard was so big, Violet kept calling it "the park." She was incredibly happy and ran around the whole time...I don't think she threw one tantrum. Now, I know that if this were her house and she was there all the time, it wouldn't be quite so novel, but seriously, I do believe that space to run off energy is important for a toddler. Otherwise she spends her whole day whining, "Mommy a' holdchoo," and, "I wanna watch (*insert show/movie title here*)." Sigh.

Okay, I'm done complaining for now.

On Caffeine High

Current state of life:

-Many piles of laundry laying aboot (imagine Canadian accent) house waiting for me to put away
-Piles of Sam's polos & other wrinkled items waiting for me to iron
-Stacks of dishes waiting for someone--maybe not me?--to wash them
-Various crap and toys strewn everywhere around my house
-So glad my husband doesn't care about messes--it's like the gift you thought you didn't like and then find yourself using all the time
-Violet sitting on lap in Belle dress & Belle shoes sweating due to polyester/acetate fiber content and also fidgeting with my arm. Previously was clomping about house whining incessantly. Waiting for, "Mommy a' give "a' bath for me."
-Fussy 4-month old sleeping for, oh, probably a 10-minute nap upstairs, just waiting to wake up & need more holding due to acid reflux bugging the crap out of him, and consequently me, for the past week or two
-Made DiGiorno for dinner due to above, so we are officially all getting cancer
-Hands shaking due to Iced Cafe con Leche's caffeine content, which was consumed approximately 3 hours ago AND yet is helping my mood immensely

***Seriously though, Violet, STOP FIDGETING with my arm!!!!***

-Watched The 300 movie last night and am even more in lurve with Gerard Butler (swoon) and that guy who played Faramir in LOTR--

***FREAKING, MY ARM, AGHHH....and also, the baby's up & crying!***

--and reeling from all the CGI-enhanced male beautifulness/artistic athletic prowess and loved watching it with Sam, so we could discuss the history at length, of which he is a fount of information

Okay, can't stand my arm anymore, must go give Violet a bath to stop the most annoying fidgeting in the universe...

'Bucks Imbibing

It's no secret that one of my favorite places in the world is Starbucks. This is very convenient, because it means that my favorite place actually exists all over the world. Well, pretty much. Seriously though, I love corporate greed in this case. Really works out in my favor.

The other day at my Vons--which HAS AN ACTUAL STARBUCKS INSIDE IT, making it the bestest grocery store ever besides Trader Joe's--the most wonderful thing happened. As I was walking out with my groceries, I heard a little voice near my ear say, "would you like to try a sample of Mint & Chocolate Chip Frappuccino and Chocolate Cream Cheese muffin?" I stopped, backed up my cart, and there to my right was a Starbucks employee offering up a tray of deliciousness. She was like a fairy godmother in a green apron. The sample Mint & Chocolate Chip Frappuccino? Free, mini orgasm in a 2 oz cup. I so drove home with a clown grin on my face.

In honor of my little unexpected happy today, I thought I would list off my favorite Starbucks drinks and pastries. Since I rarely order the fou-fou drinks off the menu, except when I'm really treating myself, these are my standbys. All of them are around $2, although if it's around meal time I get the pastry as well and count it as breakfast or lunch or whatever:

1. Chai Tea Misto w/one teabag & 2% milk (for grande size): half Chai tea and half steamed milk. I loooooove this drink because it has that wonderful Christmas-y spicy taste with the sugaryness, calories, and expense of a latte. Pair it with a blueberry scone and I'm in heaven.

2. Iced Cafe con Leche: Iced coffee with sweetener--I like 2 pumps--and milk. This frosty beverage is perfect on a hot day where you want to have coffee but not sweat buckets. Also, it's not disgustingly sweet or fatty, so it's guilt-free. Wonderful with a cranberry orange scone.

3. Venti Passion Iced Tea w/full sweetener: Gorgeous jewel-toned purple liquid swirling around my clear cup, quenching my thirst. Yay. It has no caffeine, and is lo-cal excepting the sugar. I love this one with a low-fat blueberry apricot muffin. Light AND yummy!

4. Regular Drip Coffee w/1/2 & 1/2: Good 'ol coffee & cream. You can't go wrong with this standby unless you don't actually like coffee, in which case feel free to order a $4 ice cream *cough* Frappuccino and be honest about it. :) Seriously though, their coffee is generally pretty strong, so I don't blame those who don't like it. My mom gets hers half water, half coffee with a shot of raspberry syrup & whipped cream on top. I say more power to her!

Small child is making grunty/crying noises, so I must wipe the drool off my keyboard and go be Mommy again.

I'm a boring mom.

In the interest of saving money & gas, lately I have been trying to limit my trips outside the home. See, I find that if I do not regulate myself in this, my days will be filled with random trips to Target, Old Navy, the mall, Joanns, Starbucks, etc., which although fun, are not good for my wallet and end up being too much & too often for my kids. So, my current goal is to stay at home at least every other day and combine errands when I do go out. This sounds like a great idea, right? I mean, most stay at home moms probably spend their days at home, because, well, that's the point.

The problem is, it's driving me crazy.

Every day, manymanymany times, Violet asks to go to the store. To Starbucks. To the park. To Haylie's house. To go in the car. Anywhere but our house. The child has spent the first 2 1/2 years of her life going out all the time, and she likes it, dangit! I have created a monster. Not to mention, I have limited tv to Caillou & Dora in the morning (while I eat and begin to accept the fact that I'm awake), and a movie or show in the evening while I make dinner. So when she is not asking to go somewhere, she wants to watch something. And since she is 2, she asks over and over and over.

Also, the tantrums. The whining. The clinging. The sassing.

...I need Starbucks today, I think.

(see how this gets started)

I wish I was creative with kids or had a yard, and I'm sure I could find all sorts of things to occupy her. Unfortunately I'm not & don't and I'm tired and I need to clean and sleep and pick up crap...so this is kind of hard for me. So far I've tried painting and/or coloring (20 minutes and she's done), reading books (after 2 I can't keep my eyes open), playing blocks (booooring), & oh yeah, telling her no 10,000x a day because she's constantly coming up with baaaad & dangerous ways to occupy herself and/or Wright when I'm trying to accomplish something.

I want to feel at least competent as a mother and I am so not feeling that right now.

Sigh.

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I came home tonight from a meeting at church + girl time at Starbucks, expecting both my children to be in bed, blissfully asleep. See, it was 10:15, and I had bathed them, fed them, AND put Wright to sleep before I left. Piece of cake for Sam, right? All he technically had to do was put on a movie for Violet and put her to bed. Riiiiiiight.

I walked in the door to find Wright fidgeting/fussing in the Boppy on Sam's lap and a whiny Violet sucking her thumb next to them. Sigh.

(*Commercial break* I am typing this next to Sam's nasty bag of Cheetos he was devouring before I stole the computer from him. Smell. Is. Overpowering. Smells like socks.)

Apparently every time he asked Violet if she wanted to go upstairs to bed, she politely declined and said she wanted to stay downstairs with Daddy. So he let her. Really, I wasn't aware bedtime was optional?? Huh. Just...y'know...hey, whenever ya want/don't want to go to bed s'fine.... Wright had woken up a little before I got home, and Sam seemed unaware that he might need to go back to sleep.

I've read that you just gotta let dads be dads and do things their own way, even if it's NOT the way YOU would, *ahem*, do it. In this case, the method was see-if-we-can-hold-out-until-Mommy-comes-home-and-then-she-can-
fix-everything.

So I put both kids to bed. I guess that's what Moms are for.

Some things I've been working on

Thanks to the baby from Heaven (Wright), I've been lucky enough to be able to sew lately. These pictures may make it seem like I've been prolific, but actually I've found it pretty hit or miss with my sewing time. I get interrupted so much more now, AND Ms. Violet no longer regularly naps for me. I miss those 2 hours of blissful peace every day. :( My green dress took me about 1.5 weeks of being able to sew for, oh, 5 minutes at a time, argh! I love it though, so I'll take what I can get. Anyway, here are some of my latest projects:

KwikSew 3556Back view, you can't see it super well, but I shirred it for an adjustable fit:
Some presents for my new nephew--a nursing cover w/matching burp cloths, jumbo swaddling blankets, velour/flannel washcloths, and a baby gown:
Closer view of the gown, KwikSew 3090
And the nursing cover (it's a copy of the Hooter Hiders one, no pattern):
I also made a little playdress for my niece, Ottobre Design 03/2007. It looks wide in the pic, but when worn it's just swing-y. I added the little hearts, inspired by some Gymboree dresses I've seen:
This is what Violet calls her "Tickey Mouse" dress. I made it for our Disneyland trip, which we had to cancel because Sam's parents weren't able to come out. I found this cool Mickey Mouse fabric at Wal-Mart and just had to dress Violet in it. She LOVES it. No pattern, it's just shirred & gathered rectangles:
Back view:
Funny story about this dress, I came home from an outing with Shari the other day and found out that Sam had somehow managed to find the dress--which I had hid, because otherwise she would wear it every day--for Violet and put it on her. Something was a little...off about it, though. I thought, oh geez, Sam's put another outfit on backwards, what-ever. Then I looked a little closer and realized it was on sideways! After I pointed it out to Sam, it still took him 3 more tries to get it on right! LOL, men.

10 Truths About Violet

1. If something is nasty or wet or contains poop, she will touch it/step in it.

2. If you turn around, she is directly in front of your legs.

3. If you turn around the other way, she is magically in front of your legs again (how does she do that??).

4. If she has to go potty, she will vehemently deny it and turn into a 35" long plank when you try to put her on the potty seat.

5. If are halfway through your shopping list at store with no bathroom, she will announce that she needs to go potty.

6. If there is something in the room/house/universe that is dangerous or fragile, she will find it and do something dangerous with it.

7. If you are making dinner, are hot, in a hurry, and possibly trying to calm the baby down, she will pick that moment to suddenly need, "Mommy a'holdchoo!" (imagine a whiny/tantrum-laced voice).

8. If it is time for her bath or a meal or a diaper change, she will refuse and offer up an alternative picked from her wildest dreams, such as, "no, I wanna watch Frosty the Snowman," or, "no, I wanna go to Disneyland."

9. If you don't want her to do an activity, she will continue to do it and cry if you make her stop.

10. If you want her to do an activity, she will refuse to do it and cry if you try to make her.

New baby, new blog

It seems like I only feel like writing when I have a new baby in the house. Maybe it's because they bring out such strong and complicated emotions that I suddenly feel inspired to journal them. Anyway, I'm going to give the blogging thing a second shot, if only to give myself an outlet right now.

Our new baby, Wright, was born this past weekend. Just like when Violet was born, I fell in love with him immediately and think he's just about the sweetest thing in the universe. That seems so easy to write, but I'm honestly not using these terms lightly, in fact writing that just made me cry. I tend to cry a lot and uncontrollably after I have babies, it seems. I thought I was doing better this time around until the second day in the hospital, when I realized that I'd been away from Violet for longer than I ever have in her whole life ,and I missed her. So much. I wondered how she was faring without me and was so scared about how our relationship would change now that Wright has entered the picture. I should be so happy that God has blessed me with two healthy babies, and I am so grateful and full of love, yet I just feel ripped in half.

My nursing book says that all these feelings are normal. It's always difficult to adjust after you have a baby and then have those pesky hormones coursing through your system. And I know we'll figure it out, but in the meantime...it's kind of hard. Violet has a cold (any kind of illness always makes her uber-cranky) and alternates between super-hyper, whiny, and disobedient. Where is my calm Violet who reads piles of books to herself and serves me tea all day? Argh, right now we are all fed up to here with her; I am so wishing for a peaceful household where I can love my toddler and enjoy my new baby, too. So far I am loving the heck out of Wright, and just wishing that Violet would SERIOUSLY take a chill pill already.