Up late

It's very late, and the kids are all in bed. The husband, too.

For some reason I am still up. I had to go "re-put" Wright to bed about two hours ago. I felt so exhausted laying there while I nursed him that I felt like I didn't even have the energy to go downstairs and turn off my sewing stuff (machines, iron, and not to mention put away any sharp objects). Nothing like going to and laying in the dark to kill your hobby mojo. I did come back down though, and then proceeded to sit on the couch and mindlessly watch sports highlights on mute with my mouth slightly ajar.

Sam came in and talked to me, but he went to bed, and I wanted to read this interview with Chris Nolan (director of Batman Begins, and The Dark Knight), so I went in here to read it. Then I checked my email. Then I got started drooling over sewing blogs. Instead of actually sewing clothes for my kids, I sit here envying what others seem to accomplish effortlessly. Meanwhile I'm so sleep deprived and sick as this moment that I think I'd sew my finger if I tried. Certainly I'd screw something up. Maybe one day a) my kids will sleep, and b) I will have time & be awake to sew in more than 10 minute increments.

This is my life right now: today I laid on my bed, nursing my cranky, flailing 5 month-old while Violet sucked her thumb behind me. I was desperately trying to keep the baby still with my knee on his hip, one hand holding both his wrists, and the other his head, because if I let go at all he would fly off and get mad, even though he would be the cause! Meanwhile I had to contend first with Violet's feet, then her hands fidgeting with my camisole straps--oh please stop. My bra-pads were soaked. My shirt smelled like breast milk. My bed like spit-up. I hadn't taken a shower yet--hah!--or gotten ready for the day at all even though it must have been after 11am. Snap-shot of my mommy-of-small-children days...