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I am having total writer's block here. Words won't come out of my hands or mouth right. A few minutes ago I couldn't remember Scarlett Johansson's name, so I asked Sam, "what's her name, you know, Ryan Reynold's wife?" He was like, I don't think I've ever heard her referred to that way, what is wrong with you??

My problem is that I can't seem to get into reading anything these days, and my vocabulary and brain are seriously suffering. Is this what it's like to be a non-reader? I mean, sometimes I'll even find myself looking at certain magazine articles, and I'll think, nah, that's too long, I don't feel like getting into that. I can't think of words, I can't think of names. I'm regressing and becoming ignorant, my intellect frozen out by time without input.

What the H. I read Harry Potter followed by an amazing, amazing fanfiction, one that was much better than many books out there, and now everything just pales in comparison. I am trying to re-read Twilight and it is slow going. It doesn't help that I've been sewing like mad lately trying to get Violet's cold-weather wardrobe done. But seriously, I just need to take some time and soak up some words. I am majorly atrophying here!

Random anecdote: yesterday I went to Trader Joe's with Sam and Violet, and I spent, like, almost $200. Holy Crap!! That is by far the most I have ever laid out there. But, I hadn't gone in like 3 weeks and we were seriously out of most of our staples. Sometimes you have to take a hit like that. Sam's reaction was to tell me incredulously that I need therapy and then thoroughly examine every single item on the receipt while peppering me with questions. Have I mentioned that he's not coming with me to TJ's again? What I think is funny though, is that no matter how much my total is, the employees are always like, "wow, you did great!! That's really not that much!" Not that much?! How the heck much are *you* spending on your groceries, Trader Joe's employees?? Whatever. I still totally eat it up. I am such a sucker for contractually obligated cheerfulness & ego-stroking.

I can't remember what else I was thinking of blogging about. Maybe because my I.Q. is at "average" these days. I am not kidding. I lost my keys a few days ago and I still haven't found them. Baby Wright lost his Crocs somewhere in the house and not only can I not find them, but I can't even come up with places to look. Brain waves = duuuuuuuuuuuh.

I leave you with this SNL sketch, which I've already watched several times, and which keeps making me laugh everytime I think about it, especially the part about the flavor notes, heheh:

Freakin' Tarte d'Alsace

Oh, my beloved Trader Joe's, located in the retail center of a phony "Traditionally Designed Neighborhood", where Bouganvilla and public-use green areas mingle with WASPy snobbishness, how I do adore thee. Enjoy thee. Buy lots of Fall comfort-type edibles at thee.

My lunch today, post encounter with my lover, Trader Joe:

-Tarte d'Alsace--ham slivers, gruyere, caramelized onions, etc., on a pastry crust. DIE. In Heaven. Shout out to Sarah, who told me to try this!! Violet wouldn't touch it because she's a total butthead like that.

-Mixed Spring Baby Greens w/Champagne & Pear Vinaigrette, dried cranberries, & walnuts

-Trader Joe's Spicy Cider, chilled & iced. Fall love!!!!!

With a glistening bead of drool at the corner of my mouth, I carefully unwrapped my Tarte and got ready to place it in the toaster oven. Looking up, I glimpsed my Dad stumping towards the kitchen. Gah! I got the HECK out of there. Waited for 7 minutes in my "living room". Came back out to the kitchen to find/smell...freaking, EFFING mystery meat hamburger patty sizzling away on the foreman and covering up the joyous fragrance of my holy Tarte!!! Soooo much offense and anger in my heart.

But. My "living room" is a sanctuary. I can solitarily consume my Tarte, salade, & cider, while reading away at my laptop and listening to the happiness of Wright/Violet as they play with their Trader Joe's balloons ("Ball! Ball!") and watch Little Bear.

As for the that neighborhood? Well. It is engineered to appeal to my old-fashioned sensibilities. Mixed, old-style house styles. Street parking in the front, garages in the alley out back. Trader Joe's and coffee within walking distance. And those pretty, pretty park areas all over the neighborhood. *Sigh* I sooo identify with New Urbanism and Traditional Neighborhood Design. (Huh? Wikipedia that sh!t.)

The thing is, I started to think, how is a neighborhood with upper, upper middle class to wealthy income houses mixed development? Sure, they have an apartment complex thrown in there, but please. That's just lip service. Then, I found out that earlier this year, its residents completely freaked out because a non-profit bought a home there to house autistic adults. They, like, protested at a town meeting & everything. People were all, we're scared to walk our children, eek! Like, fly your ignorant bigot flag SO high! Un-believable. I mean, I'm sure not all the residents felt that way, but sheesh. Buncha rich douches. (Oh, I've sooo put on blue-collar-ish resentment today!)

Nah, they can have their faux neighborhood and silicone breasted wives. Imma take my garage in front, big ol' backyard in the back master planned development where everyone stays inside their own yards. Er, eventually. *sniff*

Hands down, the best Trader Joe's around, though. And it has this awesome fountain & park right outside it where Sam can let the kids run around like crazy while I shop.

(I still want to live there.)

(Kinda.)