It's time to go...but we can't

It's finally the new year, and our tax paperwork is slowly rolling in, inching us closer to when we can apply for our house. And, well, find a house. It kind of feels like, "hey! We're almost there! we will be out of my parents' house before we know it!" But then I stop to think about it, and I realize that even in a best case scenario, we will probably here for several more months. Possibly even into the Summer. I mean, I pray, pray it will be earlier, but it's just really not in my hands. Buying a house takes a long time in this current market, especially when a lot of what is available is still tied up in the bank/seller's hands.

We are going on 18 months here at the 'rents, and as always, whenever I get discouraged, I remind myself that I have made it this far. I just have to put my head down and push on through the muck. But. I think all of this is finally taking its toll on our kids. Well, maybe not Wright so much, but definitely Violet. She just seems, well, sad. And we are having terrible behavior problems with her. She is down and whiny and non-sweet all day, every day. And scared of everything. I don't know if it's just her, or partly that my sadness rubs off on her. Okay, it's probably a combination of those things.

I had this recent conversation with her:

Violet: Mommy, Meemah and Peepah's house is small. I don't want to live with them anymore. I want a new house.

Me: Oh honey, me too. But why don't you want to live with Meemah and Peepah? You love them, especially Meemah. You LOVE your Meemah!

Violet: No! I don't! And I don't like it here!

Me: What? Why do you say you don't like them?

Violet: Because! I don't like their faces!

Me: Wha...? Oh honey, that's not a very nice thing to say. I'm sorry you don't like it here, but please don't say that about Meemah and Peepah. I don't understand though, you love spending time with Meemah!

Violet: No! I don't like her face!

Me: Where the heck did you learn this expression?? Did someone else say it to you? Was it on one of your shows?

Violet: No. I told it to myself.

She has since told us that she doesn't like Meemah's kitchen, she hates her room, she's scared, it's cold here, it's small here, etc., etc. I guess that she just genuinely wants to leave like we do. Nevertheless, we don't want to fuel it, so we've decided to keep any "it sucks" conversations about living here to ourselves. We are, after all, very lucky, and honestly most of the time it is completely fine. We go on and get through our days.

I think it has been more rough than usual for the kids because of all our terrible weather. We've been cooped up in the house a lot more. During cold/rainy weather Sam has to take the car into work and we are stuck here all day. My parents (ahem, my dad) have all these rules like: no running, no being loud, no roughhousing, and keep the door to the porch closed at all times because of the, "cold draft." Since the porch is their playroom and they are in and out of it all the time, the constant getting up to slam the door that the kids left open (ahem, my dad) and slamming into one's room because the kids are being loud (one guess) gets reaaaaaalllly old.

In the meantime Violet is just a sad, sad little girl. :(