Shrieking coffee

Before I get started with this post, I would like to point out that Glee is so genius for putting a mohawk on a pretty face. So pretty. So mohawk-y. Oh baby, it's Lima Loser all the way! Finn who?

Now that's out of the way, I have a confession to make, and this is hard for me.

*deep breath*

I went through the Starbuck's drive-thru twice in one day.

*sigh*

Obviously I am a weak-willed person, to be justly condemned for my sinful indulgence in sugary caffeinated drinks.

First Drive of Shame

I woke up, stumbled to the bookcase and groped for my Blessed Pink John Deere Travel Mug of Joy. My Celestial Husband places it there for me every morning after he fills it with the Miraculous Nectar of the gods. I felt in vain, not to mention in blur. My eyes completely suck without vision correction. They can generally pick out that glowing pink fuzzangle, though. Not on the bookcase. Not on my nightstand. My dresser. NO COFFEE ANYWHERE. !!!! Then, head smack, I remembered a conversation I had had the previous day with Sam, in which he mentioned that we were...

Dun, dun, dun.

Out of coffee.

Eeek! Place kids in front of Wow, Wow, Wubbzy. Hurredly brush teeth, wash face, etc. Throw on what is probably my dorkiest outfit ever because I need to do laundry. Think, like, ironic pleated khaki shorts that are no longer ironic, and a striped tank top. Because I am from Ohio circa 1998 (sorry, Ohio people, just tellin' it like it was). Pawn Violet off on her Meemah & toss Wright in the car.

Order:

1 Grande Pumpkin Spice Latte (What? I needed comfort. I woke up without coffee! I am sad inside and need corporately manufactered holiday spirit in the form of flavored syrup shots. Sooo sad.)
1 Cinnamon chip scone (Freaking hungry.)
1 Short coffee cup filled with half apple juice, half water (for B.W.)
1 lb. Anniversary Blend coffee beans (No lady, I don't want you to grind it. Blasphemy!)

Total = like, $20+ or something. Sacre bleu, have I ever spent this much at Starbucks? I am officially blaming it on the coffee beans.

Text Sam that I have bought coffee. Receive this text back: I am drinking sh!t. <---do not read if you think fake swearing is taboo. (Later, when I asked him why he used the !, he told me that he wanted to accurately convey his drink's awfulness, but felt that in case I might object to his word choice, the ! made it more kosh. In reality, of course, it just made me LMAO.)

Think to self, "aww, poor Sam didn't even stop at Starbucks for himself, and now he is stuck drinking whatever crap they serve in his cafeteria at work! I shall be a good wife and bring him coffee, to thank him for his daily service & give him comfort as he toils!" (Totally think like that.)

Second Drive of Shame

Order:

1 Grande Pike Place drip coffee with cream (What? He doesn't want fou-fou. The man needs coffee!)
1 Kid sized chocolate milk with ice & whipped cream on top (Had to go pick up Violet since her Meemah urgently needed to visit Sam's Club--an oft-felt urge, TBH.)

Blissfully drive the 20 minutes to Sam's work, high on good-deededness and, frankly, just the plain ol' sugar & caffeine that I am still drinking. Park in visitor lot and call Sam. Drive to one of the other 50,000 parking lots at his work to meet him (I can never remember wherever his latest stupid building is). Field many, many questions from Violet. Like, "do all Daddys work here?" and "If Mommys work here too, where is your parking lot?" and "Yes, you stay home to take care of us, and I take care of Baby Wright. I need to brush his hair."

When Sam steps in the car, hand him his coffee with a triumphant flourish and then sit there for 15 minutes of his "break", in which Wright makes high-pitched screaming noises at the top of his lungs the entire time.

Oh snap. Sugar high wearing off. Drive home while enduring more screaming and chants of "ball! Ball!" *gritting teeth* Wright, I do not see a ball ANYWHERE. So obsessed with balls and screaming.

Put Baby Wright down for his nap, but he is all fidgety and won't sleep. Keeps saying, "ball! Got it! Ah got it, a ball!"

Realize, I don't really like Grande Pumpkin Spice Lattes, and they are definitely not worth $4.10.

Moments with Violet

Watching Katy Perry/Joe Perry do Queen's We Will Rock You at the VMAs...

MTV Shows

Violet: *swaying back and forth and bobbing her head* Mommy, they are really good at rocking!

Me: Um, yeah. They certainly are.

Violet: *looking down at her legs and pouting* Mommy, ugh!

Me: What?

Violet: I can't move my legs like her!

Katy Perry = bootie swaying genius?

Musings by Violet

Violet: Mommy, what was that noise?

Me: Huh? What noise?

Violet: Oh, it was just my butt! 'Cause...sometimes my butt makes silly noises. 'Cause...it likes to sing, hahahahah!

Me: Oh.

Violet: Mommy?

Me: Yes?

Violet: My hoo-hah is a girl.

Dude.

Baby Wright doesn't mind if you play Guitar Hero...you just have to make sure you give him the 2nd guitar. He likes to push the neck buttons, pluck the fret bar, and wiggle the whammy bar back and forth. I discovered this after unsuccessfully trying to play and swat him away from my guitar at the same time. Not so good for the "You Rock!!" screen.

Last night while we were playing through "Paint it Black," Violet came in (*ahem* GOT OUT OF BED) and whipped out her keyboard to play along as well. When I forced her back in bed later, she told me, "Mommy, but I was so happy when we were singing songs!" :)

Violet-ness

Just when we are feeling too serious, Violet knows exactly what to say to lighten the mood. Here are a few of her recent gems:

---

Sam farts.
V: Daddy, do you have to go potty?

---

Standing while I wipe her after she goes number 2.
V: Mommy, you are doing such a good job wiping my bottom! I'm really proud of you!

---

V: Can I watch somethin'?
Me: Okay, what do you want to watch?
V: I wanna watch KPBS Kids!

---

Every day.
V: Can I do my Avalynt calendar, pleeease? (Avalyn + Advent= Her Trader Joe's chocolate "Avalynt" calendar.)

---

Me: No, no Baby Wright, get Violet's shoe out of your mouth, eew!
Wright continues to eat the shoe.
V: Baby Wright, that's 1! (As in 1-2-3 Magic.)

---

My favorite is when she messes up opposites and quantities...she always has worthy intentions, but they just come out wrong:

---

Flicking a stray Kix out of her carseat.
Me: Violet, honey, don't do that. You need to pick that up.
V: That was just a Kick, Mommy. I don't want a Kick in my carseat.
Me: Kix. We say Kix whether it's one Kix or lots of Kix.
V: No, that was a Kick. I have Kix in my cereal. Heheh, Mommy, you're silly! (Apparently my English degree means nothing to her.)

---

Sucking thumb and possibly whining.
V: Mommy, I want you to hold me for big minutes. (As opposed to "for a little bit" or "for a few minutes".)

---

Me: Violet, would you like some more milk?
Pushing her cup towards me.
V: Yeah, I'd like a bit much.

---

Fall things

This year we got pumpkins from the pumpkin patch, so I thought we'd do a "family" display. We decorated our pumpkins with foam stickers instead of the whole messy carving thing. It was actually fun! (I have low expectations for this sort of thing.) Violet really enjoyed using the princess-themed ones I got for her and didn't want to stop stick-ing. Of course, after she was done with hers and Wright's, she tried to overtake mine. :p~ Sam even got into the spirit and was creative with his Turban squash, so that was cool.

We were also planning to go to Julian with Sam's mom this past weekend, but that didn't really work out. Apparently, the U-pick apples were all gone, and then we had some scheduling issues. So, Violet's apples dress has yet to be worn. Here's what I've done to this child by making her wear specific outfits for every occasion:

Me: Violet, we're going to Disneyland tomorrow for your birthday! Won't that be exciting?!

Violet: NO! I don't WANT to go to Disneyland, I wanna go pick apples! (image embarassingly bratty tone)

Me: Huh? Violet, I'm really sorry, but all the apples are all gone, and we'll just have to go another time.

Violet: But mom, it matches my apples dress!

I have created a monster.

Eau de _____

For some reason living at my parents' house involves quite a bit of smell-mystery-solving. I'm not sure why this is...maybe it has something to do with it being a 30+ year old house where older folks AND small children reside. Or, my dad. Heheh. No seriously, as I have a somewhat sensitive nose, I generally can't rest until I've found and eradicated the source. Otherwise. I. Die. Here's a few recent cases:

Q: What is that god-awful pee-filled-diaper-that's-been-sitting-in-a-hot-car-for-a-week stank in the hall bathroom? Is it a diaper someone stashed in the wall? Is it faulty plumbing? Is it my dad?
A: Nada, it's a cretin-brained opossum who decided to amble into the basement and die directly underneath the bathroom. Eeew! This odor was so pervasive, it remained for weeks after my dad and Sam removed the bastard and buried him. Apparently some hair fell off his carcass when they picked him up, and long after it was gone we had to endure a game-y wet animal odor every time we ran the shower. Deees-gusting.

Setting: playing with Violet on the living room floor
Q: Why does it smell like nasty feet? Did Violet fart?
A: It's my dad's feet.

Setting: playing with Violet in her playroom on the porch
Q: Dear God, can I smell my dad's feet all the way out here?
A: Nope, it's Violet's feet. She took off her $9.99 Target no-animals-were-killed-in-the-making-of-these shoes, thus releasing a waft ranker than a Parisian cheese shop.

Q: Why does Violet suck her thumb standing next to me and PINCH MY ARM!!
A: This is not a smell question, but it makes it dang hard TO TYPE!! *swat* *swat*

Q: Why does it smell poopy yet chemical-y outside? Did Sam just take an excrement-filled diaper out to the trash?
A: The neighbor's propane tank burst a pipe, filling the air with a difficult to identify sewage-ish/gas od-our. Side effect of harmful air was one heck of a headache for us all.

Q: Why does this mysteriously wet microphone on Violet's new keyboard reek like nap-breath?
A: When Violet sings into her microphone (Song of choice is "We Are Awana Cubbies"), she puts it in her mouth. I wonder if it's harmful for her to suck on a recently Clorox-wiped microphone?

Q: Do I smell popcorn? Did Sam make popcorn? Why does the baby smell like popcorn?
A: The baby pooped. Oddly, the resulting odor calls to mind butter, salt, and corn product.

Q: Why do I sense a homeless/unbathed personage in the near vicinity? Am I also detecting mildew? Is it my Dad? Did he funk up his chair so bad that it smells even when he's not there? Why do I also smell when the door to parents' room is open?
A: This one was a toughie. Source of the problem turned out to be *deep breath* for some reason the hot water was off on my mom's washing machine, and she couldn't turn the spigot, so she was washing everything on cold. Cold water does not kill bacteria and such, so all the bedding/towels/clothes were not getting cleaner AND causing all to get mildew-y-ish and yuck. So, I had Sam turn the spigot on and now everything has gotten clean and is now fresh and said odor has disappeared. Whew.

Q: This is not a smell question, but why the FRICK does Baby Wright (BW) kick the crap out of my stomach everytime we side nurse in bed? He is laying there basically trying to climb up AND push away, all the while attached at the boob. Did I mention this makes me feel violent at 3am?
A: I have no earthly idea. The insult is twofold; firstly, we have the stomach area which, if I thought was damaged after Violet (BW: Hah!), contains stomach muscles split in half 2 inches apart covered by skin stretched to heck (my OBGYN: The collagen will not recover!) thanks to the BEHEMOTH that is BW. I have accepted the first, but Secondly, we have the incessant kicking that goes on while BW tiltshis head back and tries to see if he can get my nipple to reach 9 inches. Gah! Urgh.

Sorry for whipping out the B and N words.

Undies!!!

Okay, I am so excited. I made my first undies this weekend. Violet needed new underwear as we are stepping up the potty-thing (i.e. forcing it because she's stubborn as mud), and I didn't feel like going to Target and paying the for themwhen I could make them for free. It seems like such a silly thing, but for some reason I am more proud of these than most things I make! It feels good to sew something so practical and useful, and I did it all with scraps I had on hand. (click on picture for full-size undies fantastic-ness)



While I'm at it, here's the Cinderella dress I made for her birthday/Halloween. We are going to Disneyland to celebrate her 3rd birthday next week, so this is what she will wear. I also bought a crown and wand from the Disney Store, but I'm waiting to give those to her until the morning of. I will post afterwards with her full regalia, but meanwhile she's been rocking this dress non-stop!





Those on Facebook have already seen this one, but I thought I'd post it anyway. It's a kitties Halloween skirt I made for our trip to the pumpkin patch last weekend. The thing is beyond poufy when she's not leaning against a random person's truck.



You may be wondering how I got all this sewing done when my kids are so bad. The answer is: 10 minutes at a time. Also, for some reason they're way better about playing in the enclosed porch while I sew than playing by themselves while I run and clean the bathroom or whatever.

Red eyes. Foggy brain.

I have so many things to say, and yet I don't write. Sometimes it's just too hard to put my thoughts into words, and then my words into letters and sentences in the--literally--five minutes at a time that my kids are giving me these days.

Ugh, the kids. Seriously.

Wright: Wakes up every hour. Takes minimal naps. Makes a screaming noise if you're not holding him. Grabs at everything you're doing and puts your back out if you are holding him.

Violet: Wants me to hold her. Play with her. Gets up for an hour after I put her down for her nap/to sleep at night. Water. Song. Books. Potty. Ugh. Has sibling jealousy.

Update on the small group situation: it's going well! We decided to leave Violet with my mom every week, which has helped me enormously. Wright is doing super well sitting on my lap, and I'm enjoying getting to know different people with various ages and backgrounds. Sometimes I get so pissy and tired that I look at everything through negative glasses, and I think this was one of those cases.

Sam's mom is coming to visit this next week, and we are going up to Julian with her to pick apples. I have--OF COURSE--taken it upon myself to make Violet a special trip-to-Julian-with-Grammy apples dress. Why do I do this to myself? I am a crazy craft person with no time. Need. Crafts. To. Breathe. Anyway, if this goes well we might add it to our Fall traditions.

I can't think of anything else to write about. Question: Is extreme lack of sleep anything like being impaired by drugs? I am seriously concerned about my driving.

It's my birthday, yay.

Here I am at 12:30am typing because I couldn't sleep, ugh. It's a real travesty when every moment of shut-eye is sooo precious (due to Baby Butthead's mommy addiction), yet your body will not respond and TAKE ADVANTAGE. Hey body, this is going to suck tomorrow!! Body: screw you, let's think and worry ad nauseum instead!

I am not going to sugar coat this, I am not having a good day/night/early morning (whatever). We had our first "study" small group tonight, and Sam called me from work a couple of hours before to let me know that he would meet me there so he could work late.

??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sure honey! I'll just make a side dish and corral a high-energy toddler + non-sleeping, needs-constant-holding infant all by myself and still make it to group on time! Awesome! The only way I accomplished this was to have my mom watch Violet and Wright for pretty much 3 hours while I cooked, cleaned up, and got us all ready, etc. I really hate taking advantage of her like that. As grateful as I am, it makes me feel like I can't actually manage my own life.

Then we get there and...it's just hard to do a study with little kids. I've got to juggle papers and Wright on my lap, and half my attention is on Violet in the other room, even though she's being good--how is that fun? Hence why I was not sure it was a good idea for us right now. I'm doing it for Sam because he basically held a shotgun to my head and said I owed him one. I'm thinking at the end of this he owes me a coverstitch machine, hah!

I know I am such a complainer. In the grand scheme of things this is so inconsequential. I hate being so whiny (ugh, now I feel worse).

Anyway, I am 28 today. I get to spend my birthday watching the children while Sam goes to work on stuff at our old house so we can get ready to rent it. Yay.

OOh, I thought of something happy! The Office premier was tonight and there was such a GOOD Pam and Jim thing that went on (y'know, with a ring), and also they made out a bunch, and, yay, romance always cheers me up. Glad I thought of that.

On that note I'm going to try to go back to bed.

Why am I running backwards?

You may have noticed from my previous post that I sometimes feel that, for no apparent reason, my life is somehow hard to get done. I like to blame this on the fact that I have kids. However, I have noticed that other people who have kids seem to be able to keep their houses clean, have a hobbies, work on the side, etc. Why not me???

See, I have this theory that my kids are super high-maintenance. For instance, Violet. (Need I say more?) Also, my house is boring. And small. And we have no yard. Seriously, if I had a yard, I would totally send Violet out there ALL the time and just watch her from my kitchen window/custom sewing room (natch).

We just got back from spending several days in Ohio visiting friends from college. The place we stayed at had tons & tons of room to run around, a gazillion toys, and not to mention a humongous, grassy yard with a slide, tricycles, etc. I'm not kidding, the yard was so big, Violet kept calling it "the park." She was incredibly happy and ran around the whole time...I don't think she threw one tantrum. Now, I know that if this were her house and she was there all the time, it wouldn't be quite so novel, but seriously, I do believe that space to run off energy is important for a toddler. Otherwise she spends her whole day whining, "Mommy a' holdchoo," and, "I wanna watch (*insert show/movie title here*)." Sigh.

Okay, I'm done complaining for now.

I'm a boring mom.

In the interest of saving money & gas, lately I have been trying to limit my trips outside the home. See, I find that if I do not regulate myself in this, my days will be filled with random trips to Target, Old Navy, the mall, Joanns, Starbucks, etc., which although fun, are not good for my wallet and end up being too much & too often for my kids. So, my current goal is to stay at home at least every other day and combine errands when I do go out. This sounds like a great idea, right? I mean, most stay at home moms probably spend their days at home, because, well, that's the point.

The problem is, it's driving me crazy.

Every day, manymanymany times, Violet asks to go to the store. To Starbucks. To the park. To Haylie's house. To go in the car. Anywhere but our house. The child has spent the first 2 1/2 years of her life going out all the time, and she likes it, dangit! I have created a monster. Not to mention, I have limited tv to Caillou & Dora in the morning (while I eat and begin to accept the fact that I'm awake), and a movie or show in the evening while I make dinner. So when she is not asking to go somewhere, she wants to watch something. And since she is 2, she asks over and over and over.

Also, the tantrums. The whining. The clinging. The sassing.

...I need Starbucks today, I think.

(see how this gets started)

I wish I was creative with kids or had a yard, and I'm sure I could find all sorts of things to occupy her. Unfortunately I'm not & don't and I'm tired and I need to clean and sleep and pick up crap...so this is kind of hard for me. So far I've tried painting and/or coloring (20 minutes and she's done), reading books (after 2 I can't keep my eyes open), playing blocks (booooring), & oh yeah, telling her no 10,000x a day because she's constantly coming up with baaaad & dangerous ways to occupy herself and/or Wright when I'm trying to accomplish something.

I want to feel at least competent as a mother and I am so not feeling that right now.

Sigh.

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I came home tonight from a meeting at church + girl time at Starbucks, expecting both my children to be in bed, blissfully asleep. See, it was 10:15, and I had bathed them, fed them, AND put Wright to sleep before I left. Piece of cake for Sam, right? All he technically had to do was put on a movie for Violet and put her to bed. Riiiiiiight.

I walked in the door to find Wright fidgeting/fussing in the Boppy on Sam's lap and a whiny Violet sucking her thumb next to them. Sigh.

(*Commercial break* I am typing this next to Sam's nasty bag of Cheetos he was devouring before I stole the computer from him. Smell. Is. Overpowering. Smells like socks.)

Apparently every time he asked Violet if she wanted to go upstairs to bed, she politely declined and said she wanted to stay downstairs with Daddy. So he let her. Really, I wasn't aware bedtime was optional?? Huh. Just...y'know...hey, whenever ya want/don't want to go to bed s'fine.... Wright had woken up a little before I got home, and Sam seemed unaware that he might need to go back to sleep.

I've read that you just gotta let dads be dads and do things their own way, even if it's NOT the way YOU would, *ahem*, do it. In this case, the method was see-if-we-can-hold-out-until-Mommy-comes-home-and-then-she-can-
fix-everything.

So I put both kids to bed. I guess that's what Moms are for.

10 Truths About Violet

1. If something is nasty or wet or contains poop, she will touch it/step in it.

2. If you turn around, she is directly in front of your legs.

3. If you turn around the other way, she is magically in front of your legs again (how does she do that??).

4. If she has to go potty, she will vehemently deny it and turn into a 35" long plank when you try to put her on the potty seat.

5. If are halfway through your shopping list at store with no bathroom, she will announce that she needs to go potty.

6. If there is something in the room/house/universe that is dangerous or fragile, she will find it and do something dangerous with it.

7. If you are making dinner, are hot, in a hurry, and possibly trying to calm the baby down, she will pick that moment to suddenly need, "Mommy a'holdchoo!" (imagine a whiny/tantrum-laced voice).

8. If it is time for her bath or a meal or a diaper change, she will refuse and offer up an alternative picked from her wildest dreams, such as, "no, I wanna watch Frosty the Snowman," or, "no, I wanna go to Disneyland."

9. If you don't want her to do an activity, she will continue to do it and cry if you make her stop.

10. If you want her to do an activity, she will refuse to do it and cry if you try to make her.

New baby, new blog

It seems like I only feel like writing when I have a new baby in the house. Maybe it's because they bring out such strong and complicated emotions that I suddenly feel inspired to journal them. Anyway, I'm going to give the blogging thing a second shot, if only to give myself an outlet right now.

Our new baby, Wright, was born this past weekend. Just like when Violet was born, I fell in love with him immediately and think he's just about the sweetest thing in the universe. That seems so easy to write, but I'm honestly not using these terms lightly, in fact writing that just made me cry. I tend to cry a lot and uncontrollably after I have babies, it seems. I thought I was doing better this time around until the second day in the hospital, when I realized that I'd been away from Violet for longer than I ever have in her whole life ,and I missed her. So much. I wondered how she was faring without me and was so scared about how our relationship would change now that Wright has entered the picture. I should be so happy that God has blessed me with two healthy babies, and I am so grateful and full of love, yet I just feel ripped in half.

My nursing book says that all these feelings are normal. It's always difficult to adjust after you have a baby and then have those pesky hormones coursing through your system. And I know we'll figure it out, but in the meantime...it's kind of hard. Violet has a cold (any kind of illness always makes her uber-cranky) and alternates between super-hyper, whiny, and disobedient. Where is my calm Violet who reads piles of books to herself and serves me tea all day? Argh, right now we are all fed up to here with her; I am so wishing for a peaceful household where I can love my toddler and enjoy my new baby, too. So far I am loving the heck out of Wright, and just wishing that Violet would SERIOUSLY take a chill pill already.