I have, like, a test in the morning

I totally pulled an all-nighter last night. My inconsiderate roommate was up for freaking ever chatting it up, watching TV, and um, whimpering?

Yeah. Unfortunately my annoying roommate is my son. :p~ For some reason Wright was just, up, resulting in what I think might be my first all-nighter since college. I mean, sleep deprivation, I am good friends with. But this whole less-than-one-hour thing is an unwelcome flashback.

It was very interesting, going through today with literally almost no sleep under my belt. Here is what I observed:

-I feel rather disassociated from my body, like I am drunk or high, but without the happy giddiness. My driving responses are delayed, and I have tunnel vision. It's like that scene towards the end of Insomnia where Al Pacino's character drives to Robin William's crazy novelist's cabin, and the road looks like it is coming up to meet him and he can't stay awake, but somehow he does, and he goes to the psycho cabin, and you're like, don't go in there! I just asked Sam if he remembered this movie, and he said that yes, he does, but that he didn't enjoy it. Huh. I found it to be an exceptionally visceral movie and it sticks with me to this day. Checking IMDB, and ah, yes, it's a Christopher Nolan movie (a la Batman Begins?). Totally explains that. But not Sam's lack of enchantment. Sniff.

-My loud and boisterous children bother me much more than usual. I cannot concentrate when they are shouting and laughing. It's like I have hyper hangover hearing or something. Maybe the post-alcohol and non-sleep chemicals in my brain are related? I feel stressed out and want to yell at them to be quiet. I find myself snapping and ranting far more than usual. My Dad's presence alone is cause for immediate under-the-breath swear-filled sentences about smells and being in the way and stinky mulish annoyingness. My patience is sooo MIA. :)

-My stomach tells me it is hungry, but I am not in the mood to eat anything because I am too tired. Huh. The exception to this was a lovely tortilla soup I had for lunch, which I think was my main fortification today. It was like chicken soup for when you're sick. And being this tired is kind of like being sick, so it fits. My head is pounding, and I want to lay down, but my heart is racing. (Thanks, Coffee who is my best friend but also kind of my enemy. No time to sleep anyway what with kids running around and Baby Wright non-nappish, so it's cool.)

-I keep writing in present tense lately and, coincidentally, Sam recently told me that he hates to read stuff in present tense. Asking him now to clarify his opinion. He doesn't remember. Looking over to our Ikea "coffee table", I see a Blue Moon. And it IS 10:30pm. Poor man's brain has shut down. S'kay. I think he said he thought it was lazy. Well, I think he is wrong, because I keep making tense mistakes when I write in present, so therefore it must be hard. Or at least harder than past tense. This paragraph is getting all English-y and bo-ring...

-I think I must talk about Sam, pretty much, all the time. Sorry about that. I am like the tedious high schooler who gets a boyfriend, then builds her life around him and starts every sentence with, "well, my boyfriend says/does/thinks..." Blegh. Except that, after almost 9 years together, we are a little like halves of each others' psyches. They're hard to separate. This year (that never ends) at my parents' house has been like 5 years in one, too, because we're building this intense us-against-them experience that's like bonding on crack. I wonder if when we move, and we have all this living space between us I will be like, "hey, you over there...I miss you?" Like maybe McMansions are physical synonyms for how we all self-depend so much, whereas tiny houses and living rooms used to force families to get in each others' faces and learn to deal with each other and be together. Or maybe not. Maybe it's just nice to have space sometimes. :)

-Okay, ramblicious sleep-deprived thoughts, much? Why is it that, at 10:47pm on the day after the night in which I did not sleep at all, I am finally, finally wide awake? What is wrong with my internal clock? I mean, hello, that's just messed up. I should go to bed now, except that I can't, because I would totally insomnia it. Grr. Well, c'est la vie, I believe I will wake Sam up off the couch and convince him to watch The Soup with me. And then if I'm not tired after that I'll crack open my Twilight re-readathon and at least get some o' that in.

Off to go LMAO and drool over my favorite Married Dad of 2 Kids Who is on Community and Hosts An Hilarious Half Hour of Cable TV Commentary.