Up late

It's very late, and the kids are all in bed. The husband, too.

For some reason I am still up. I had to go "re-put" Wright to bed about two hours ago. I felt so exhausted laying there while I nursed him that I felt like I didn't even have the energy to go downstairs and turn off my sewing stuff (machines, iron, and not to mention put away any sharp objects). Nothing like going to and laying in the dark to kill your hobby mojo. I did come back down though, and then proceeded to sit on the couch and mindlessly watch sports highlights on mute with my mouth slightly ajar.

Sam came in and talked to me, but he went to bed, and I wanted to read this interview with Chris Nolan (director of Batman Begins, and The Dark Knight), so I went in here to read it. Then I checked my email. Then I got started drooling over sewing blogs. Instead of actually sewing clothes for my kids, I sit here envying what others seem to accomplish effortlessly. Meanwhile I'm so sleep deprived and sick as this moment that I think I'd sew my finger if I tried. Certainly I'd screw something up. Maybe one day a) my kids will sleep, and b) I will have time & be awake to sew in more than 10 minute increments.

This is my life right now: today I laid on my bed, nursing my cranky, flailing 5 month-old while Violet sucked her thumb behind me. I was desperately trying to keep the baby still with my knee on his hip, one hand holding both his wrists, and the other his head, because if I let go at all he would fly off and get mad, even though he would be the cause! Meanwhile I had to contend first with Violet's feet, then her hands fidgeting with my camisole straps--oh please stop. My bra-pads were soaked. My shirt smelled like breast milk. My bed like spit-up. I hadn't taken a shower yet--hah!--or gotten ready for the day at all even though it must have been after 11am. Snap-shot of my mommy-of-small-children days...

Why am I running backwards?

You may have noticed from my previous post that I sometimes feel that, for no apparent reason, my life is somehow hard to get done. I like to blame this on the fact that I have kids. However, I have noticed that other people who have kids seem to be able to keep their houses clean, have a hobbies, work on the side, etc. Why not me???

See, I have this theory that my kids are super high-maintenance. For instance, Violet. (Need I say more?) Also, my house is boring. And small. And we have no yard. Seriously, if I had a yard, I would totally send Violet out there ALL the time and just watch her from my kitchen window/custom sewing room (natch).

We just got back from spending several days in Ohio visiting friends from college. The place we stayed at had tons & tons of room to run around, a gazillion toys, and not to mention a humongous, grassy yard with a slide, tricycles, etc. I'm not kidding, the yard was so big, Violet kept calling it "the park." She was incredibly happy and ran around the whole time...I don't think she threw one tantrum. Now, I know that if this were her house and she was there all the time, it wouldn't be quite so novel, but seriously, I do believe that space to run off energy is important for a toddler. Otherwise she spends her whole day whining, "Mommy a' holdchoo," and, "I wanna watch (*insert show/movie title here*)." Sigh.

Okay, I'm done complaining for now.

On Caffeine High

Current state of life:

-Many piles of laundry laying aboot (imagine Canadian accent) house waiting for me to put away
-Piles of Sam's polos & other wrinkled items waiting for me to iron
-Stacks of dishes waiting for someone--maybe not me?--to wash them
-Various crap and toys strewn everywhere around my house
-So glad my husband doesn't care about messes--it's like the gift you thought you didn't like and then find yourself using all the time
-Violet sitting on lap in Belle dress & Belle shoes sweating due to polyester/acetate fiber content and also fidgeting with my arm. Previously was clomping about house whining incessantly. Waiting for, "Mommy a' give "a' bath for me."
-Fussy 4-month old sleeping for, oh, probably a 10-minute nap upstairs, just waiting to wake up & need more holding due to acid reflux bugging the crap out of him, and consequently me, for the past week or two
-Made DiGiorno for dinner due to above, so we are officially all getting cancer
-Hands shaking due to Iced Cafe con Leche's caffeine content, which was consumed approximately 3 hours ago AND yet is helping my mood immensely

***Seriously though, Violet, STOP FIDGETING with my arm!!!!***

-Watched The 300 movie last night and am even more in lurve with Gerard Butler (swoon) and that guy who played Faramir in LOTR--

***FREAKING, MY ARM, AGHHH....and also, the baby's up & crying!***

--and reeling from all the CGI-enhanced male beautifulness/artistic athletic prowess and loved watching it with Sam, so we could discuss the history at length, of which he is a fount of information

Okay, can't stand my arm anymore, must go give Violet a bath to stop the most annoying fidgeting in the universe...

'Bucks Imbibing

It's no secret that one of my favorite places in the world is Starbucks. This is very convenient, because it means that my favorite place actually exists all over the world. Well, pretty much. Seriously though, I love corporate greed in this case. Really works out in my favor.

The other day at my Vons--which HAS AN ACTUAL STARBUCKS INSIDE IT, making it the bestest grocery store ever besides Trader Joe's--the most wonderful thing happened. As I was walking out with my groceries, I heard a little voice near my ear say, "would you like to try a sample of Mint & Chocolate Chip Frappuccino and Chocolate Cream Cheese muffin?" I stopped, backed up my cart, and there to my right was a Starbucks employee offering up a tray of deliciousness. She was like a fairy godmother in a green apron. The sample Mint & Chocolate Chip Frappuccino? Free, mini orgasm in a 2 oz cup. I so drove home with a clown grin on my face.

In honor of my little unexpected happy today, I thought I would list off my favorite Starbucks drinks and pastries. Since I rarely order the fou-fou drinks off the menu, except when I'm really treating myself, these are my standbys. All of them are around $2, although if it's around meal time I get the pastry as well and count it as breakfast or lunch or whatever:

1. Chai Tea Misto w/one teabag & 2% milk (for grande size): half Chai tea and half steamed milk. I loooooove this drink because it has that wonderful Christmas-y spicy taste with the sugaryness, calories, and expense of a latte. Pair it with a blueberry scone and I'm in heaven.

2. Iced Cafe con Leche: Iced coffee with sweetener--I like 2 pumps--and milk. This frosty beverage is perfect on a hot day where you want to have coffee but not sweat buckets. Also, it's not disgustingly sweet or fatty, so it's guilt-free. Wonderful with a cranberry orange scone.

3. Venti Passion Iced Tea w/full sweetener: Gorgeous jewel-toned purple liquid swirling around my clear cup, quenching my thirst. Yay. It has no caffeine, and is lo-cal excepting the sugar. I love this one with a low-fat blueberry apricot muffin. Light AND yummy!

4. Regular Drip Coffee w/1/2 & 1/2: Good 'ol coffee & cream. You can't go wrong with this standby unless you don't actually like coffee, in which case feel free to order a $4 ice cream *cough* Frappuccino and be honest about it. :) Seriously though, their coffee is generally pretty strong, so I don't blame those who don't like it. My mom gets hers half water, half coffee with a shot of raspberry syrup & whipped cream on top. I say more power to her!

Small child is making grunty/crying noises, so I must wipe the drool off my keyboard and go be Mommy again.

I'm a boring mom.

In the interest of saving money & gas, lately I have been trying to limit my trips outside the home. See, I find that if I do not regulate myself in this, my days will be filled with random trips to Target, Old Navy, the mall, Joanns, Starbucks, etc., which although fun, are not good for my wallet and end up being too much & too often for my kids. So, my current goal is to stay at home at least every other day and combine errands when I do go out. This sounds like a great idea, right? I mean, most stay at home moms probably spend their days at home, because, well, that's the point.

The problem is, it's driving me crazy.

Every day, manymanymany times, Violet asks to go to the store. To Starbucks. To the park. To Haylie's house. To go in the car. Anywhere but our house. The child has spent the first 2 1/2 years of her life going out all the time, and she likes it, dangit! I have created a monster. Not to mention, I have limited tv to Caillou & Dora in the morning (while I eat and begin to accept the fact that I'm awake), and a movie or show in the evening while I make dinner. So when she is not asking to go somewhere, she wants to watch something. And since she is 2, she asks over and over and over.

Also, the tantrums. The whining. The clinging. The sassing.

...I need Starbucks today, I think.

(see how this gets started)

I wish I was creative with kids or had a yard, and I'm sure I could find all sorts of things to occupy her. Unfortunately I'm not & don't and I'm tired and I need to clean and sleep and pick up crap...so this is kind of hard for me. So far I've tried painting and/or coloring (20 minutes and she's done), reading books (after 2 I can't keep my eyes open), playing blocks (booooring), & oh yeah, telling her no 10,000x a day because she's constantly coming up with baaaad & dangerous ways to occupy herself and/or Wright when I'm trying to accomplish something.

I want to feel at least competent as a mother and I am so not feeling that right now.

Sigh.

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I came home tonight from a meeting at church + girl time at Starbucks, expecting both my children to be in bed, blissfully asleep. See, it was 10:15, and I had bathed them, fed them, AND put Wright to sleep before I left. Piece of cake for Sam, right? All he technically had to do was put on a movie for Violet and put her to bed. Riiiiiiight.

I walked in the door to find Wright fidgeting/fussing in the Boppy on Sam's lap and a whiny Violet sucking her thumb next to them. Sigh.

(*Commercial break* I am typing this next to Sam's nasty bag of Cheetos he was devouring before I stole the computer from him. Smell. Is. Overpowering. Smells like socks.)

Apparently every time he asked Violet if she wanted to go upstairs to bed, she politely declined and said she wanted to stay downstairs with Daddy. So he let her. Really, I wasn't aware bedtime was optional?? Huh. Just...y'know...hey, whenever ya want/don't want to go to bed s'fine.... Wright had woken up a little before I got home, and Sam seemed unaware that he might need to go back to sleep.

I've read that you just gotta let dads be dads and do things their own way, even if it's NOT the way YOU would, *ahem*, do it. In this case, the method was see-if-we-can-hold-out-until-Mommy-comes-home-and-then-she-can-
fix-everything.

So I put both kids to bed. I guess that's what Moms are for.

Some things I've been working on

Thanks to the baby from Heaven (Wright), I've been lucky enough to be able to sew lately. These pictures may make it seem like I've been prolific, but actually I've found it pretty hit or miss with my sewing time. I get interrupted so much more now, AND Ms. Violet no longer regularly naps for me. I miss those 2 hours of blissful peace every day. :( My green dress took me about 1.5 weeks of being able to sew for, oh, 5 minutes at a time, argh! I love it though, so I'll take what I can get. Anyway, here are some of my latest projects:

KwikSew 3556Back view, you can't see it super well, but I shirred it for an adjustable fit:
Some presents for my new nephew--a nursing cover w/matching burp cloths, jumbo swaddling blankets, velour/flannel washcloths, and a baby gown:
Closer view of the gown, KwikSew 3090
And the nursing cover (it's a copy of the Hooter Hiders one, no pattern):
I also made a little playdress for my niece, Ottobre Design 03/2007. It looks wide in the pic, but when worn it's just swing-y. I added the little hearts, inspired by some Gymboree dresses I've seen:
This is what Violet calls her "Tickey Mouse" dress. I made it for our Disneyland trip, which we had to cancel because Sam's parents weren't able to come out. I found this cool Mickey Mouse fabric at Wal-Mart and just had to dress Violet in it. She LOVES it. No pattern, it's just shirred & gathered rectangles:
Back view:
Funny story about this dress, I came home from an outing with Shari the other day and found out that Sam had somehow managed to find the dress--which I had hid, because otherwise she would wear it every day--for Violet and put it on her. Something was a little...off about it, though. I thought, oh geez, Sam's put another outfit on backwards, what-ever. Then I looked a little closer and realized it was on sideways! After I pointed it out to Sam, it still took him 3 more tries to get it on right! LOL, men.