I can't believe I'm saying this, but Fall is finally here...
...and I just feel depressed.
Dunno what it is, but I just can't shake this gloom. I think it started Sunday, which was a real doozy. I don't want to be all negative and complain-ey, but whatever, I'm just being honest (in the words of Simon Cowell).
Maybe I crave cold weather and sweaters and soup, but I actually can't handle days & days w/o vitamin D or E or whatever the heck is in the sun.
Today my radio was set on XM channel 52 The Coffee House. It's all acousticy & live versions of songs. Like the kind you might *snap* after. You know what? I want to wear dark jeans & tees & go to a REAL coffee house in the city where they serve coffee in oversized mugs and have live, whiny bands.
Unfortunately I've spent my 20s learning how to be married and having babies.
Can you still go to deep, dark, & depressed coffee shops when you're 40? I hope so. Because I don't think I fully exorcised that urge before it became un-possible.
This would be an excellent time to go take a hot shower, cozy up with Twilight, and listen to some Debussy. Unfortunately a) there is nowhere to go in my parents' house to be alone, unless I want to be alone with Sam, which doesn't really count, and b) I think I packed my Debussy cd in our storage unit. Pathetic! (As Eeyore would say.)
I can't even wallow in my sadness--like, I am actually unable to fully experience it. It's like unrequited melancholy.
Please go read one of those "happy!!!!" blogs now.
2 comments:
I'm reading this now that the gloom is over and it's 100 degrees out. Give me the clouds and dreariness for a while!!
I'll be forty one of these days and I plan to hang out in coffee shops, listening to live, acoustic music no matter what age I am. Age is all in the head so you've got lots of time to enjoy those big mugs of coffee!
Yes, it does seem odd now that the weather's changed, huh? Lol!
You are right, I know you can do pretty much anything at any age! :) I just think I'd look funny being all emo at a coffee shop when I'm 40. Like I will still do it, but maybe not with the black concert t-shirt and eye-liner! :)
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